When the world goes to crap...

While driving in the car the other day my lovely daughter says "Mom, I would like to learn to hunt". Now for any of you who have seen me, I do not in any way resemble a mom who goes hunting. I respect hunters and I respect the sport it is just not something that I have gotten into in the past. Nor do I think that it is something that I will do a lot of un the future. However I have made it a vow to make sure that my children are able to learn whatever skill it is that they want to aquire. So I guess I should start looking for someone to teach her how to hunt.

My mother then turned to me and said "You know, when the world falls apart. Aeryn is going to be okay"

I have been thinking about this statement for a few days now. And you know what? She was right. Aeryn is going to be okay. For the most part she is a very level headed child. She wants to learn how to farm and how to live off the land even though she knows that it is much easier to just go to the grocery store. She knows the importance of eating well. Which includes eating foods that are not loaded with preservative and other additives. She would rather eat meat that she knows has been treated humanely throughout its life even if it means saying goodbye to a friend in order to fill our freezer. (Not something that we have had to deal with yet. But we know it is coming and she is looking at it with an open mind) She understands that within a couple of weeks Delicious will be turned into bacon. And she realizes that without the sacrifice of Delicious's life, we would not have bacon.

This has gotten me to talking more with my child about other things she would like to learn. She wants to  hunt and fish. To have a garden and be able to can vegetables for the winter. She would also like a cider press.

On her list of animals to learn about she would like chickens and sheep. Chickens for their eggs and meet and sheep for it's fleece. Apparently she thinks that if she owns a sheep than she will get more warm, knitted wool items from mom and grammy once they have knitted said fleece.

I could easily picture her living her own life without being forced to interact with so many negative parts of society. Now it is a struggle to get her to interact with the positive parts. She would much rather be outside learning what she needs to learn in a hands on manner than being locked in a classroom. I don't blame her but stress the importance of having both classroom learning as well as hands on learning. She realized a benefit of this recently when they were reading a story about a man who was logging with horses and was able to give her the input of actually doing it. It gave her so much more incite into the matter to know what it was life first hand.

She also enjoys being able to share her experiences when she is around groups of people. Aeryn understands that what she is doing is not a normal thing for chilren in our day and age. Not that there are not a lot of other children having the same types of experiences, it is just not the norm. She loves to answer questions and talk about the things that we do. I am pretty sure that I am going to encourage her to go into some of the public speaking events that the 4-H program offers. Aeryn would be an amazing advocate for farm children everywhere. And she is prood that you do not need to live on the farm to get the farm kid experience.

So my mom was right. When the world goes to the crapper, my kid is going to be just fine.

Shadows of a dream remembered

There is a price to pay for every luxury that we want in life. I am learning that hard and fast these days. And yes before you question it, owning large animals is a luxury. Having our cows is part of a life choice that I have made for my children and myself. One that I will not regret no matter what happens.

I have wanted to own cows and horses for as long as I can remember. I had an amazing brother, Elmer, who got me into farming when I was a young girl. He worked at a local dairy farm in our small town in the Southwest corner of New Hampshire. Often we would go to visit him and he would take me walking out in the free stall where all of the big milking cows just lounged around waiting until it was time to be brought into the barn and milked. I loved those cows. I loved him and the time that we spent together.

When I was 8 years old Elmer brought me to my first 4-H meeting. The wife of the farms owner was the local leader and meetings were held at the farm. I was terrified. I was not a very outgoing child and being put in the middle of the kitchen with all of these kids that seemed so my bigger than I was at the time was a bit frightening. But Brenda was amazing. She treated me like one of her own children and soon I realized that being in this group was like having a bunch of brothers and sisters.

The older kids had so much to teach me. And I sucked it all up like a sponge. It did not take me very long to decided that farming was something that I wanted to do when I got older. I loved every minute of it. And most of all I enjoyed the time that I got to spend with my brother as he helped me train my first heifer. A big black and white girl named Alli.

After my first show season I was addicted. I started spending free time at the barn doing work in exchange for leasing Alli. This eventually turned into a summer job. I worked for Brenda, cleaning and feeding calves and whatever other chores she had to do. To a nine year old this was an amazing opportunity. I learned so much about farming and animals. I also learned a lot about myself.

Elmer and I got into the habit of talking about the kind of farm I wanted to have when I got older. There was an old red barn that we would look at whenever we drove into Keene. Secretly we had wished that someday that would be our barn. I had vivid dreams about what it would be like restoring the broken down building to the grandeur that it had once possessed. I knew Elmer had thoughts like this was well.

I lost my brother one cold November day when I was 15. And along with him my dreams of owning my own farm died as well. I continued to work for Brenda for a couple more years. After my 18th birthday I got completely out of 4-H and away from farming. It brought back to many regrets and memories that I had thought were better buried away. It took me a really long time to come to terms with Elmer's death. But eventually it happened.

It happened when Aeryn begged me to let her join a 4-H group. She had been around cows since birth as one of her baby sitters used to also work at the farm. She knew all about 4-H and could not wait to be old enough to join. Through her I have once again found that love that I once had. There are days that I can not help looking at her and seeing the shadow of my brother following closely at her heals. I know that he would be proud of her. Proud of the amazing young girl that she has become and her ability to take the bull by the horns and come out on her feet. What an amazing child she is.

I tell her about him. The funny, loving stories that we made together. The memories of a time long gone by. Deep inside I believe he is watching her as she succeeds in the goals that she has set for herself. I also believe that he is smiling down on me. If anyone would support the fact that I have made a wise choice it would have been him.